COMING HOME
SO MANY THINGS HAPPENING
Being in Nepal, a lot happened emotionally. I’ve have been sick for 10 days, diarrhea. It was the reflection of a big transformation. Coming home to myself.
First the image of the girl with fear in her eyes let me know to let go being a victim and embrace my wound of life with love. To live my life with personal power instead without it. Bhaktapur reflects this part of me, because of the earthquake last year.
Furthermore, I noticed when someone came close by, fear was coming over me and then I lost my power. Also I had the illusion that I always had to DO something, to give me the right to be here at planet earth. Finally, I only could feel comfortable when I admitted to myself that I want to go back to Holland.
While drawing in my mandala colourbook, I felt a presence coming to me. It was my own inner child! I lost connection with it and it was great to meet her again. Next day I understood why I lost connection with her. Tilasmi told me that I had let in again negative entities, that moments I become hysteric. I felt them and they were sabotaging my life. I chose that I’m worthy to protect myself against negativity and live in light.
Later one we were visiting the Thanka painting school where Tilasmi bought a lot of Thanka’s 9 years ago. We were invited for dinner! They have a room like a temple, it’s very special to be there. Totally peaceful. My home is in Holland. And when I asked about earning money in Holland, I felt totally having trust. Life is very creative, no worries.
By coincidence we visit a big Buddhist stupa near Kathmandu. A great atmosphere there. I could hear that my diarrhea was a reflection of rejecting myself (unconsciously). I didn’t take nutrients from the food, so no vitality/spirit. Just the same as rejecting myself, then there is no spirit. I didn’t have to be someone, so I could drop my shield. Then I felt power is just there, no effort needed.
Coming home
Because I was rejecting myself so strict, I waited very long to take some medicine. Finally, I took some homeopathic medicine. Only first the dose was not good, finally the dose was good. I also took some ayurvedic medicine, because I realised I had to be careful after 10 days of diarrhea. Together with choosing for being worthy, the diarrhea is disappearing!
Today I feel for the first time earthly! Living my life with joy and being present is coming home! And I’m allowed to show this to the world.
The next days in Nepal I will spend to make a new website for my new practice (with horse whispering, intuitive coaching and sharings), shopping and working out new ideas! Yeah!!!
Namasté
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