Arrogance and innocence



A few people asked for stories about our adventures we have on our trip. So with all the changes in me, I decided to change my writing on this blog. I will try to write every day a short story and will call it from now on “Adventure IS”.

Today I woke up with diarrhea, or you can also call it easy shitting. So I spend more time then usual on the toilet. Also I tried to write an e-mail to the woman of the training, only at the end of the message (where I wanted to speak out myself and also show my gratitude) I noticed arrogance in me to her because she f….. up my mind. Because I didn’t know what to do with this arrogance and lost joy I decided to go for a swim.

And there was magic happening. I felt again joy in me and lying in the water a little boy approached me for playing with him in the water. He looked straight into my eyes over and over again and I looked back. Being joyful together. Suddenly, through his eyes, I felt my innocence in my belly and of the woman from the training. What a gift.

The little boy became more daring and suddenly he tried to put sand in my eyes. He was Russian and I only know 2 Russian words, yes (da) and no (net). First he kept on going with his game and I had to be clear to him that I did not accept that. Finally, he accepted no and we kept on playing. The only thing was that while this was happening, I felt the same arrogance showing up in me. That is difficult for me to accept about myself and than joy disappears again.

In the evening, while drinking with a friend at the beach, I danced with live music. That helped me to feel being joyful again.


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About the Author:

Ilse was looking for a fulfilling life and being joyful for many years. Through a lot of learning experiences and becoming consciousness about it, finally fulfilling and joy are coming into her life.