March 8, 2016
Our first day in Khajuraho I started with some body activities at the roof terrace of the hotel. Looking at the sunrise. Beautiful! But India is a country of contradictions. At the same time Indian people were shitting in the fields… We walked to the temple of the local people and looking at their rituals everything felt totally okay. Suffering of life is not what I really am.
We were so tired of the 6 long days with the bike that we slept a few hours. And after lunch I made a little walk through town. I didn’t want to do anything, only enjoying little things. While writing behind my laptop I missed something. I noticed that I was writing with having to be someone. I don’t want that anymore, I want to be simple.
At the end of the day I had a talk with Tilasmi. Finally I had a big cry and felt grieve of rejection in me. A believe system of my mind was hating people. And do I want to create suffering over and over again? According to my mind I can stay little in stead of getting big. My belly doesn’t hate people and only wants to be.
March 9, 2016
I’m missing contact with horses, so this day I wanted to look for them. Finding some mules and horses, they were reacting aggressive or scared and just one liked attention. Finally I was sent away by an Indian woman. My conclusion, it doesn’t matter in which country I want to work with horses. Rejection you’ve everywhere. Fear of rejection withholded me from following my passion.
After writing behind my laptop I was dreaming about my future. What makes my heart really happy?
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